Conall St. Albans Facts

[Ryan D'Alteau]

There are many things about Eclipse's resident skinwalking Irishman that most people may not even realise. This thread is to chronicle just a small number of these. If you know more about this enigmatic soul, then Conall commands you to reply. To do otherwise is a great transgression... one which is punishable by something not even Conall himself knows.

1. No man can wear any two articles of clothing made by Conall St. Albans. To do so would cause the pieces of fabric and leather to gain a proximity-based sentience and kill the wearer, because all Conall St. Albans clothing contains a tiny piece of Conall's essence. Anything more than one piece is unsafe for human exposure. Unless you are Conall St. Albans.

2. The last person to attempt to say the words pink is a feminine colour in Conall's presence only got to the F in feminine. Nobody has ever got beyond it. The skulls of the people who have attempted such a feat are in a secret compartment in Conall's truck; a secret compartment he only reveals in order to impress women.

3. When comparing cars, Conall's truck always wins. ALWAYS.

[Conall Saint Albans]

4. Conall can impregnate an entire room just by walking into it. TRUFAX.

[Ryan D'Alteau]

5. When Conall does push-ups, he isn't pushing himself up. He isn't even pushing the world down. He's far too badass for that. What Conall actually does is mentally scream at the ground beneath him, telling it to "Get th' fuck away from me!". The ground, being scared shitless by all badass skinwalking Irishmen, obviously obeys. He just puts his hands on the floor to make his push-ups look normal and not arouse suspicion.

[Ryan D'Alteau]

6. What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object? Both of them let Conall St. Albans have the right of way.

[a1terego]

7. When Conall pees on you, you are officially his property...NO ARGUMENT

[Adele D'Alteau]

8. You do not pick a fight with Conall. He picks a fight with you.

[harper]

9. Conall doesn't sleep. He waits.

[snowind]

10. Conall doesn't rape, he asks nicely with Roofies... (this one is actually true)

[jainalynch]

11. Conall's tears can cure cancer. It's a shame he never cries.

[Conall Saint Albans]

12. Conall is a shoe. Don't ask. He just is.

[Mitchell Brooks]

13. Conall holds three different NHL records:

1. Most Fights
2. Most Penalty Minutes
3. Most Punkasses Knocked Out.

[snowind]

14. Conall thinks Pink is the manliest color. (This one is actually true as well)

[virgilmoon]

15. The size of one of Conall's sperm is equal to that of a full grown German Shepard

[Oscar O'Grady]

16. Conall's libido can be seen from space.

[forged]

17) If Conall and Chuck Norris were to fight, the world'll explode. Before being put back together by Conalls manliness.

[snowind2]

18. Conall could get out of the LOST island in 24 hours.

Oh wait, that was Jack Bauer.

Conall would do it in 10 minutes.

[Oscar O'Grady]

19. You are never more than 6 feet away from Conall's Penis.

[Tyler Shea Michaels]

20. Conall has counted to infinity.... THREE TIMES!!

[Tyler Shea Michaels]

21. Kids were Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas. Chuck Norris wears Conall St. Albans pajamas.

[Oscar O'Grady]

22. Conall has fucked Tom Kroner. Lol at Tom Kroner.

[forgedalles]

23. Conall St. Albans rearranged make the words "I have a large penis"

[ceriexerox]

24. Conall St. Albans has got something to put in you. All of you.

[Conall Saint Albans]

25) All at the same time.

[forgedalles]

26) Conall St. Albans has a whole mountain dedicated to his Penis. Life size.

[amang]

conall's feline form is in oestrus. he also has crabs in his nether region, which he got from a certain thomas kroner.