A Ghost Soul (Mira)

[Helena Rahal]

Claudia was not entirely sure why she was doing this, she had never expected to meet the woman in person. It had all stemmed from an a session on one of the chat rooms that lead to a private conversation. What were the odds that one of the women who she was speaking to would be in the same city that she had taken up residence in? It had to be astronomical right, there was seven billion people out there and she just happened to pick out one of like a million of the women who lived in Seattle to vent to?

In the conversation with the woman, she confessed everything that she had been feeling, what she had done, and what was on her mind. That was when the woman suggested hanging out offline, a bit of a girl's day out. She revealed that she was Mira Rodgers and that she lived in Seattle as well and arranged the day. And that was how Claudia found herself seated outside of a Starbucks at ten in the morning at just the right intersection waiting for a person to show up who she did not know nor what she really looked like.

This Mira though had sent her a picture of an item that she would be wearing to identify her from just some random stranger. If Claudia was truthful, just a day of hanging out and having some girl time with another woman would probably do her good. She was still so unsure of how to deal with the mess that was the relationship she had with Alice, with the feelings of hurt and betrayal. There was now also a child, a never ending reminder of that moment in time when Alice decided their engagement was not worth remaining faithful.

Maybe this day would turn out well or it could all turn out to be a horrible mistake. Meeting someone online in real life seemed to have at least a decent success rate from what she had seen on some fora. It was not like this was a dating thing, that would be something completely different. Though what Mira and what she considered to be a fun day out could be radically different and it all wasted time and effort. Which seemed highly likely with the way the weather continued to be gray and overcast, which it always seemed to be.

So she sat and waited, sipping on the hot cocoa that she had ordered in the mean time. Mira already had a picture of what she looked like, so one of the two were likely to see the other. Claudia was half tempted to pull out her laptop and try working on her novel some more, yet she had promised herself she would give this day a try, which meant not working. How did you have fun though, when you still felt like your entire existence had been a lie, even if that was putting it a bit dramatic.

[Marcus Rodgers]

I've just been plotting on the low
Scheming on the low
The furthest thing from perfect
like everyone I know
<>

Waking up, Marcus remembered that Mira was meeting with Claudia that day. Knowing that Mira sometimes had trouble being cheerful herself, he resolved to make sure she was ready for the upcoming meeting. There were no secrets between them; Marcus knew exactly what the nature of the coffee date would be and what Claudia would need: a positive, helpful friend.

Mira was not always positive. Neither had she always led this positive a life. She had been happy enough, right up until an attempted cover-up took away her father and sister. That was when she and Marcus met, which was fortunate, since that was also when her mental health problems began. Mira’s post-traumatic stress disorder became somewhat milder with Marcus’ assistance, but still flared up, especially in certain conditions. That was not the side Claudia needed to see, not yet. Marcus knew that. So he decided he would do his best to keep that from happening.

By the time Mira also rose, Marcus had used the Elites’ extremely advanced kitchen to make her breakfast in bed. Mira picked up on his game right away, but, out of curiosity, decided to let him run with it. They spent a little time in each other’s arms, then went about getting ready for the day, with Marcus having his own matters to attend to around the same time. They showered together, leading to a quickie in there, then an actual shower, and then getting dressed.

Marcus was finished before Mira and hovered around her as she applied her makeup. She started to laugh in the middle of her attempts to shoo him away. Then, after checking to make sure there were no Elite-related tasks that needed doing, they headed out, with Marcus driving Mira to the café to drop her off before going on about his day too.

Marcus was not finished yet, however; they went from the Elite headquarters with the car stereo’s volume all the way up, yelling rap lyrics at the lop of their lungs, much to the chagrin of the other drivers, but it got Mira pumped up, and that was what mattered. When they were about half a mile away from the café, they turned the music down and went to driving normally, so as not to be within hearing range of the café and alarm Claudia.

Mira had a picture of Claudia and Claudia had a picture of an item- Mira had to be careful who she gave her photo to - that Mira knew she would wear. Marcus had bought her plenty of jewelry, but one of her favorites was a butterfly necklace, all gold. With that, she decided to wear a black midriff top and a pink high-waisted skirt that went up the rest of the way; an open white jacket that matched her white and gold heels. She hoped she looked bright enough.

The weather certainly was not. Then again, it was Seattle. The Rodgers pair had been living there long enough that they were accustomed to it. As Marcus pulled up to the curb, he pecked Mira’s cheek, and Mira playfully hit his shoulder. “Thank you, mi amor,” she said softly, then picked up her black purse and slung it over her shoulder and stepped out onto the curb. Marcus waited for her to take a seat and that she was safe before he drove off.

She gave Claudia a bright smile and smoothed her skirt down before she took a seat. “Hi! I’m Mira. You must be Claudia.” She extended her hand for Claudia to shake. A barista came up and asked for Mira’s order, and Mira asked for a breakfast tea. Once the woman was gone, Mira leaned in, her arms folded over the table.

“So. How are things? Better than the last time we chatted, I hope,” Mira offered her a small, hopeful smile. “Tell me what’s going on.”

</>

Word count: 642.

Attire: This.
Excerpt: Drake, “Furthest Thing.”
Notes: hi Mira!

[Helena Rahal]

The woman who approached her and introduced herself as Mira was not what Claudia was expecting. She was breathtakingly beautiful and her outfit was very... get up and go-ish. Yet it was undeniably her, wearing the beautiful necklace that Mira had sent her a picture of. Claudia was expecting someone... well older perhaps or maybe not quite as beautiful as Mira was. Her upbeat look certainly brightened the area and perhaps the mood that the otherwise average Seattle weather was trying to keep on the sour end. Taking Mira's extended hand, she gave the woman a soft smile and a nod.

"Yep, Claudia, the one and only." It was an adopted name, one that had been given to her upon her manifestation. Yet she had grown into it, accepted it as her identity, and now it had become what she was used to. If there was a "real" Claudia Renari, then well, it could not be helped, the name was hers now and that was that. "Quite the lovely weather we have today isn't it? One of Seattle's finest." The sarcasm was dripping through her words, even as the half smile was there, trying to drown out the sourness.

Mira ordered herself a tea before leaning forward with her arms folded over the table and asked Claudia how she was doing. That was a loaded question indeed and Mira was very much quick to the point of it all. "I am not sure if better would be quite the right word to use." Was it better to still be going through it all over and over again in her head, trying to make sense of everything? How to make sense out of an insensible and illogical situation, it simply could not be done, not without venturing into the deep end.

"I miss her, greatly, hell I even miss the damned cat that we had. I've kept up the lies, the misdirections, and the airheadedness when on the chat room, just not to arise suspicions. Yet every day, I wake up, and there is no one there to wake up to and to try and make yourself better for. I do not know if I should just forget that all the time we shared never happened and move on or try and forgive what happened." Better indeed was not the word that she would use to try and describe how she was doing.

"As for what has been happening, well, been throwing myself into my work and whatever odd jobs come my way. It is not much but it pays the bills and keeps me moving forward I suppose, you always have to keep moving forward they say." Yet to move forward, were you never supposed to look behind you and see what had lead you to where you were? What if you just kept making the past mistakes again and again, was there not room for contemplation of the past as well as what lied ahead?

"So today, what sort of things did you have in mind? I don't have a lot of money but I did save up enough for a bit of splurge today, if needed." A few hundred bucks would cover some retail therapy maybe, but if there was more than that, it would be cutting into her budget. She could always talk to Helena, in some weird way the woman could be considered family, but she did not want to ask for a handout or bring her into the mess, she had enough on her plate. Still, Claudia thought she had done well for herself, having the four hundred spare to splurge on whatever Mira might have had in mind for the day, whatever it turned out to be.

[Marcus Rodgers]

And I wonder
as I tear away my skin
It’s taken me so long to stitch
these wounds from where I’ve been
<>

At least Mira had not gotten the wrong young woman. That would have been embarrassing. They shook hands, and once Mira was all set up, they began to chat. Claudia was definitely not in a better position than she had been when Mira had last “spoken” with her. She did get in a snarky comment about the weather, though, which made Mira grin. “Oh, it’s a beautiful day, even more so than usual.” Mira returned snark for snark, as she had become accustomed to doing as a member of the Elite.

The topic became more serious, however, as Claudia got into her relationship problems. Mira could only frown. She could relate somewhat, actually, very well, since the only man she had ever loved was as capricious as the weather (in everywhere but Seattle), and had only begun to be serious about their relationship and spend nights and days with her a few months before their engagement. But Claudia’s problems, and the handling of it on both sides, were far more immediate and stressful than the encounters she had met on her own journey.

She listened as Claudia explained where she was emotionally, and how she was managing things in terms of her work. Mira was a little lost for what to say that would help Claudia feel better. Things like “It will all be better in the end” and “If it’s meant to be, it will be” had made her want to strangle people in her youth. She was not certain Claudia would take it the same way, but she was sure the young woman had heard It all it enough times for it to be inconsequential.

“Believe it or not, you’re adjusting okay,” she said instead. “I mean, comparatively. Working can take your mind off things. And it’s productive. That’s not to say it’s the solution to your problems - we’ll have to work a little harder to find that. But that takes time, you know? It’ll take communication and tough talks. We’ll work out the best way for you to approach that with her, all right? That’ll be the way to go, I think. I mean, we can talk about that now, if you want. Or we can wait ’til later, or not at all, it’s up to you.” She smiled softly. “As for what I had planned today….”

That was not all her husband had done for her. With a sly grin, she took out her wallet and flipped a card between her fingers. The name on the card was “MARCUS E RODGERS.” Since Mira and Marcus balanced their books together, he trusted her not to overspend; and, in general, he trusted her anyway. “No money? No worries. I've got it covered.” She took a sip of her drink. “So, after we finish up here, what do you day we hit up your favorite stores?”

</>

Word count: 475.

Attire: This.
Excerpt: Godsmack, “Love-Hate-Sex-Pain.”
Notes: I tried typing with all fingers, so this took twice as long as usual.

[Helena Rahal]

Claudia was having a hard time believing Mira when she said that Claudia was adjusting well to the situation. It did not feel like a good adjustment, it felt like she was trapped between two minds in clinging to the past and trying to move forward. Caught between minds, now that was a bit ironic considering her peculiar matter of coming into existence. However that seemed the situation to Claudia, stuck and not dealing well at all with the situation that she had come into.

"I think perhaps it is best if we do not waddle into that topic today. I appreciate the thought and gesture, yet even months later, I still feel far to confused over the situation to try and tackle it head on." Taking an axe to the tree perhaps would have been the more prudent and better root, yet it perhaps not had the desired consequences. One way or another, once that bridge was crossed, she needed to get out of this rut that she was in and actually back doing something with her life. Marshall had not given her a body just to wallow away in self pity with it, that would be just a waste.

Claudia's eyes narrowed as she read the name on the credit card as Mira flipped the card between her fingers and then she gasped. Oh that was scandalous, using her husband's credit card for a girl's day, how very devious. It was... well it was something she would have done with her own S.O.'s card if the positions were reversed. What was a little spent cash if it was towards something good? No harm, no foul right?

"Well if money is no issue..." Claudia's mind wandered to what she could do or more importantly, what she wanted to do if money was not an issue. A smile came and she seemed to have a few ideas as to how to spend the afternoon. "Well definitely some retail therapy is in the cards, no doubt about that. However I have been hearing about this lovely new spa that has opened up, some massages or facials or something like that would be nice."

[Marcus Rodgers]

Got two for a nickel
and four for a dime
Would sell you more
but they ain’t none of mine!
<>

If Claudia preferred to discuss her troubles another time, then that was totally fine. This could just be more of an escape, a way of letting the problems go for a while. Marcus would have shaken his head, she knew. Mira had done that for a long time. Shopping trips, running away to beaches and cities and cities on beaches, just to escape having to cope. Marcus had always reeled her back in, and sat her down for a long, hard talk about what she was feeling and how they were going to work on that. He was more pragmatic than she was.

But this was just her and Claudia, and she would deal with Marcus later. This was a woman’s matter; men had their ways of dealing with things, and women another. Besides, what would a man know of the kind of torture Claudia was going through? Oh, he might feel hurt about being left and having a child born of a cheating relationship, but he kept that inside, while a woman had no shield from that, but bore the force of that head-on. And oh, it hurt.

Mira could not claim to have been through anything that similar. In his own way, Marcus had always been faithful to her. But he had always been a difficult man to deal with, less so now that they were married. And Mira had her own secret worry: She was thirty-six, or close enough, and she had never come anywhere near giving Marcus a child.

So they could both put their problems to the backs of their minds, and go out for something nice, with her husband footing the bill in absentia. When Claudia suggested a spa visit, Mira grinned and waggled the card once more before sliding it back into her wallet. “Your wish is my husband’s command. What do you say we go on over to that spa after we’ve had our fill here? Massages, facials, manicures, pedicures, we could go the whole nine. Whatever works for you.”

She sipped her tea and smiled. “And all the while, we can think of mischievous ways of spending money on our own wardrobes. My shoe rack needs a few new additions, I think.” She raised an eyebrow and smirked. She would pick Marcus up a few presents as well, of course, in the form of some lacy lingerie. What was a girl’s day out if they did not at least browse around somewhere risqué?

</>
Word count: 410.
Attire: This.
Excerpt: Hugh Laurie, “They’re Red Hot” (cover).
Notes : Sorry so short.

[Helena Rahal]

Claudia chuckled as Mira spoke, oh how it felt so good to laugh again. It had been months since she had had a good laugh that did not feel like it was forced or awkward in the least. This was just a natural little chuckle as Mira spoke about how her husband would be fitting the bill for their little sorray into the world of pampering and retail therapy. Maybe she was indeed starting to adjust and cope well with the situation that she was in, if she could have such a pleasant little release like that.

The hurt of the betrayal and then the confusion, wondering if she had done something wrong to drive Alice away into the arms of another. That was the initial blow of it, how many nights had she gone without sleep trying to figure out just what had happened and why it did? Then the lingering confusion she now found herself in, to move on from it all or to forgive the transgressions of a woman she loved but who had burned her badly. Time might have healed the wounds and faded scars, yet even a faded scar remained and left its mark.

She was laughing though, feeling a bit upbeat about a day that she had feared would be just this awkward social interaction. Claudia had half expected to be leaving the cafe after the brunch and heading back home to work on her novel, if Mira had showed up at all to begin with. It was progress she supposed and another step towards getting over it all, moving forward with life. Maybe she would not tackle the issue today but today would no doubt help her on the way to finally coming to the decision she needed to make.

"Oh definitely, some sassy, snazzy new shoes, and maybe a bit of bikini shopping to, summer is just around the corner." With a new summer of opportunities hopefully after a spring of hope. Hope sprung eternal did it not, hope of a better tomorrow and that the wounds would be completely healed in time. "The spa that I was thinking of is called The Corner Rose, maybe you have heard of it? At any rate, it had been getting all sorts of good buzz from what I have heard of it, very friendly staff and exquisite facilities. So that sounds like a plan!"

There was a small hint of a grin before she sipped down the last of her hot cocoa, gulping it down before the weather had a chance to chill it completely. How perfectly symbolic of what was going on now Claudia thought, a breath of fresh air to keep her from becoming cold to the outside world.

[Marcus Rodgers]

I used to think that I was happy
but I was just lying to myself
Really believed no one would have me
so I put my poor heart on a shelf
<>

The spa idea appealed to Mira, as did the shopping part. Mira did need some new shoes. And a new outfit or two, perhaps one for work and one for daily wear. The work one would have to be black and sleek, for sneaking around places if necessary. The other outfit, well, she would see what caught her eye. She might even buy Marcus a present too, in the form of some lacy lingerie, black or dark green if she could manage it. He said the color brought out her eyes.

“Perfect. I could use some new high heels.” She grinned. When she said “high heels” she meant “really high”; she could walk and run in five-inch heels, and she was sure she could do both in taller heels. She loved those kinds of shoes; they gave her a workout and showed off her calves. The bikini, too; she and Marcus could sure use a vacation, and somewhere with a beach would be good for both of them. They both loved water and sand and a warm sun and clear skies. She was sure there was a small island out there that could offer them some privacy too.

“The Corner Rose? I have heard a little about it. It’s got great reviews on the Internet.” She nodded and sipped her tea. “I’d definitely be down to check it out. It’s been a really long time since I’ve been to a spa.” Actually, she could not remember the last time she had been to one; she was a workaholic and had been even before joining the Elites, when she had only been helping Marcus solve cases as a private detective.

Like Claudia, Mira finished her tea quickly, then put down the cup and smiled. “Did you bring a car? If not, or even if you did, the walk might be pleasant.”

</>

Word count: Too few to count.

Attire: This.
Excerpt: Chaka Khan, “Will You Love Me?”
Notes: Sorry so short.

[Helena Rahal]

Claudia felt her mood improving as Mira enjoyed her enthusiasm for the pair of ideas. Good ideas for a rejuvenating experience, not reinventing the wheel, just giving it a new look. Perk herself back into a not so brooding mood, where she let herself live a little and then maybe she could take on the issues that had weighed her down. Confront them head on and deal with them in some form or another, not just ignoring them and continually putting them off for another day. Life was there for the taking and she needed to take it now when she had the chance.

"Car... umm, no, I took a cab. I do not have a license, so no car either!" Something on her list of things to do, learn how to drive, though going to a DMV still scared her. What if they saw through all the fake identification and arrested her, how would she ever really explain herself? The thought of spending any sort of time in jail or prison had kept her away from learning. An identification card could get her into clubs and passed for id checks, but still, a license and a vehicle would be handy and something concrete. Something real that would lessen her fear.

"I guess it is a walk then, hopefully we do not get any of Seattle's finest along the way." It was good enough weather, for now, yet this was the Pacific Northwest. Too often had Claudia thought it to be a great, sunny day, and an hour later it was pouring down rain and her thoughts for a picnic dashed. Such was the risk of living up in Seattle though and you had to take the good with the bad.